I'm Worried About Everything. And I'm Tired of Pretending I'm Not.

Man. Where do I even start?

I'm worried about my health. I'm worried about my future employment. I'm worried about whether I'll ever be able to retire comfortably. I'm worried about keeping my house. I'm worried about my family.

I'm worried about our leaders, who seem more interested in lying, cheating, stealing, and protecting themselves than actually representing everyday Americans.

I'm worried about automation replacing millions of jobs, and what happens to the people who spent their entire lives building careers only to be told they're no longer needed.

I'm worried about everything. And I'm exhausted from worrying.

I remember a time when it didn't really matter who was in office. Sometimes a Republican won. Sometimes a Democrat won. Life went on. People disagreed. They argued about taxes, policies, government spending, whatever. But for the most part, people were civil. We could have different opinions without treating each other like enemies.

When did that change? When did disagreeing with someone become a reason to hate them?

When did politics become something that could destroy friendships, divide families, and make people genuinely afraid of their own government? I don't trust Democrats. I don't trust Republicans. And I certainly don't trust the people who spend every waking moment trying to convince me that the other side is the enemy.

At this point, I don't even know who to believe anymore. More importantly, I don't know who to believe in. I've always been someone who trusts his gut. And right now, my gut is telling me something isn't right.

I think we're living through a dangerous period in American history. Not necessarily because of one particular politician or political party, but because we've somehow reached a point where Americans are more afraid of each other than the people making decisions that affect our lives.

For the first time in my adult life, I'm genuinely worried about the future of this country.

For me, I think it started during COVID. I watched people turn on each other over personal medical decisions. Friends stopped speaking to friends. Families were divided. People were judged, ridiculed, and ostracized simply because they questioned what they were being told. My entire life changed during that period.

Literally, overnight, I lost my livelihood. I lost friendships. I refused to take a vaccine I wasn't comfortable taking, and some people I'd known for years decided that was enough of a reason to cut me out of their lives.

Eventually, I left the state I loved. The state where I'd spent years building a career, a business, friendships, and a life I was proud of. I had to start over.

And when you've spent nearly a decade building something, watching it disappear is a feeling that's difficult to explain to someone who hasn't experienced it. I rebuilt my life for the most part, but it took almost 10 years. And I'm still rebuilding parts of it.

But here's what bothers me most. I don't think we learned anything from Covid times.

I think we've become even more divided. Even less tolerant. Even more willing to surrender our ability to think independently because someone on television or friggen YouTube tells us what we're supposed to believe. And deep down, I worry that if another crisis comes along, (it will) we'll do it all over again. Maybe I'm wrong. I genuinely hope I am.

I don't want to hate my neighbors. I don't want to fear my government. I don't want to spend the rest of my working life wondering whether everything I've built can disappear because somebody in power makes another decision that turns my world upside down.

I just want to work, enjoy my life, and eventually grow old without constantly worrying about what's coming next. I don't think that's too much to ask.

Am I the only one feeling this way? Or are we all just walking around pretending everything is fine?